Response to Passing Post

A re-occuring image that I noticed was the contrast between hot and cold. The first placed I noticed it was in chapter 2, when Irene is about to encounter Clare. On page146, Irene says that their is a, "dancing blaze," and that the breaze is like a breath of a flame fanned by slow bellows."Yes! The day that Clare and Irene "meet" is full of this imagery--remember Irene goes into the Drayton to escape the oppressive heat. The next place I noticed this imagery was on page 164, when Irene is meeting Clare once more. She describes the weather as, "parched," and, "stifling." This is in contrast with the cooling, "rain," that did not fall. The speaker also refers to the, "October sunlight streaming in upon her," when she is opening Claire's letter. This imagery cannot be looked over because it sets the mood for the relationship between Claire and Irene. Nella Larson uses this heat imagery at the beginning of each chapter intentionally, to allow the reader to feel Irene's stress and anxiety she is feeling inside. The imagery is also used right before she is encountering Claire for the first few times. This is important because they are not yet completely comfortable with one another. Nella Larson uses the cool imagery as a method of relaxing the stress. Whenever Irene is cooled down she is comfortable with her relationship with Claire and confident that everything is working out.
I underlined the passive voice because you want to get out of that mode for analytical writing. Not a big deal here, but just want you to be aware of it.
Anyway, what we've got here needs a stronger bite. Larsen uses this imagery to establish tension and to relax it, but why? What's going on with this relationship? Is heat/fire symbolic of the passion that is dangerous? Is it reflective of some psychological force that Irene is trying to control/repress? Is it emblematic of desire, like the desire between these two women? Is it setting up Irene's repressed anger? Is it symbolizing Clare's passionate nature, that Irene wants to extinguish, much as one puts out a cigarette. Just before she kills/bumps/doesn't touch Clare, "Irene finished her cigarette and threw it out, watching the tiny sparks drop slowly down to the white ground below" (238). I love that.
So here's what I'd do: make a list of your evidence, or highlight it all. Then, decide what pattern makes the most sense to get you to a snappier so what.

"Passing" Post

A re-occuring image that I noticed was the contrast between hot and cold. The first placed I noticed it was in chapter 2, when Irene is about to encounter Clare. On page146, Irene says that their is a, "dancing blaze," and that the breaze is like a breath of a flame fanned by slow bellows." The next place I noticed this imagery was on page 164, when Irene is meeting Clare once more. She describes the weather as, "parched," and, "stifling." This is in contrast with the cooling, "rain," that did not fall. The speaker also refers to the, "October sunlight streaming in upon her," when she is opening Claire's letter. This imagery cannot be looked over because it sets the mood for the relationship between Claire and Irene. Nella Larson uses this heat imagery at the beginning of each chapter intentionally, to allow the reader to feel Irene's stress and anxiety she is feeling inside. The imagery is also used right before she is encountering Claire for the first few times. This is important because they are not yet completely comfortable with one another. Nella Larson uses the cool imagery as a method of relaxing the stress. Whenever Irene is cooled down she is comfortable with her relationship with Claire and confident that everything is working out.